Beau

            I was so angry, I didn’t even know how to speak or what to say.  I don’t typically say this, but I thought his parents were off their rockers!  I’ve always kind of felt like they didn’t like me, despite how kind and nice they acted and that had sealed the deal for me.

            I had finally been granted permission on both sides—my family and his—to visit my boyfriend, Beau, who lived four hours away from me.  It was obvious that visiting was rare, because of the distance and the fact that we were both high-school students who didn’t exactly feel comfortable driving that distance alone.  My parents loved him.  Oh, who am I kidding, they still love him.  He’s sweet and caring and the best guy I’ve ever met.  My older brother tells me he’s the only decent guy I’ve ever dated.

            His parents didn’t even know we were dating.  It was understandable, I suppose, because it was his choice and responsibility to tell them and he’d chosen not to.  I understood why.  They were rather controlling at times.  They seemed like nice enough people, but they didn’t like me.  I suspected it was because they thought I was ‘stealing’ their son.  He could just break up with me and never speak to me again if he wants, but he won’t.  He’s not that kind of guy.

            They’d done what seemed like almost everything to get in our way.  He hadn’t been allowed to keep his skype account up, even though he’d had it before he even knew I existed and they cancelled more ‘hang-outs’ than I care to remember.  But I’d still always respected them.  But I didn’t then.

            Like I said, I was at his house, hanging out with him, when his dad walked in.  His dad is a short man, with a muscled build.  Beau towers over him, with his six foot build and I find it funny.  He looked at us, curled up together on the couch, carefully not touching, because we didn’t want to get in trouble and motioned to Beau.

            “I want to talk with you.”  They went down the hall and I heard whispers.  No clear words, only quiet whispers.  Of course, my curiosity was piqued.  I slid from the couch and tiptoed to the side of the hall to listen.

            “…influence on you.”  I heard his dad saying.

            “What do you mean?”

            “You spend so much time on the computer and your phone and I don’t think that was going on until after you met her.  There are so many other things you could be doing.”

            “Dad, I was a gamer before I even knew Ella existed.”  Beau said in a ‘duh’ tone.  I could see nothing and was too scared to move to where I could see something.

            “You were also never this disrespectful.”  I could almost envision Beau’s dad’s eyebrows rising.

            I sensed Beau wanting to say, ‘I’m not being disrespectful,’ but even if it were true, it would have only proven his father’s point.  So instead of speaking a defense, he was silent.

            “Well?  Don’t you have anything to say?”

            “I don’t feel like she’s a bad influence.”

            “No, of course you don’t, you’re a hormone filled teenage boy and she’s a hormone filled teenage girl, why would she be a bad influence on you?”  His father muttered sarcastically.

            My eyes narrowed.  That hadn’t been very nice of him to say.  I doubted he cared if he was nice or not.

            “She’s not, Dad.”

            “Then why have your grades been slipping?”

            I remembered him mentioning that.  And his grades weren’t slipping.  He’d gotten a bad grade on a math assignment that had been assigned while he was out sick, and had later been hastily and poorly explained to him when he returned to school.

            “That was one assignment!  In one class!”

            “See, there’s the disrespect I was talking about.”

            Beau had been cornered.  Set up by his own father.

            “I don’t want you to talk to her anymore.”

            “What?”  The shock in his voice was clear.

            “You heard me, I don’t want you to talk to her anymore.”

            “But why?”

            I heard his father huff.  “I just told you, she’s a bad influence on you.”

            There was no way for Beau to argue in my defense.  Anything he said would prove his father’s points.

            “Your mother and I already discussed this.  We both think you’re too young for a girlfriend and if she’s not already your girlfriend, you’re hastily heading in that direction.”

            “I’m sixteen.”

            “Exactly.”

            “You and mom were sixteen when you started dating.  Each other.  And you had been dating since you were fourteen!”

            “You need to watch your tone, young man.  You aren’t going to be seeing her anymore after this visit.  And I would appreciate it if you would delete her number from your phone.”

            “No.”

            “What?”  His eyebrows must have been shooting up into his hairline by that time.

            “I said no.  I’m not going to just cut her out of my life.  I love her.”

            “She’s the first girl to show a romantic interest in you and you find that attractive.  Don’t mistake that with love.”

            “Do you know how long it took for her to show me any romantic interest?  I am not mistaking anything with love.  I love her.  She is beautiful and wonderful and—”

            “Beau.”

            I slipped around the corner into the hall.  They were staring intently at each other, but they quickly glanced to me.  I’m sure my expression told at least Beau that I had heard it all.

            “Sorry, I have to use the restroom.”  I slipped by them and ducked into their bathroom.  Sitting on the toilet seat, I held my head in my hands and cried.  I tried to keep it quiet, but occasionally a gasping, sobbing noise would escape me.  When finally, I had calmed myself down, I flushed the toilet and ran water in the sink for a moment before leaving.

            Beau and his father were nowhere to be seen, until I went to the living room.

            “Ella….”  Beau had a look of dread on his face.  “I don’t think we should talk anymore.”

            I knew the words coming from his mouth were forced, but they still hit me like a ton of bricks.  His eyes were screaming apologies, screaming that he didn’t want to say these words, that they were words being forced from him by his dad.  But they still hurt!

            “Wha—what?”  What scared me even more was the thought that maybe he would actually let this come between us…that he would actually do what his father said.

            “We shouldn’t speak any more.  You’re a bad influence on me.  I think you should leave now.”  He came over to me and took my elbow to lead me to the door.  Right before opening it, he whispered in my ear, “I will text you.  I will find a way to communicate with you.  I love you.”

            His words comforted me, but I wanted to turn around and ask, “How?  How will you text me?  Will I ever hear your voice again?”  I wanted to look at him and tell him, “I love you!  I love you!  I love you!”  But I couldn’t.  All I could do was walk out his front door and stumbled down his front steps.  I was so upset that I didn’t even realize I was walking on their grass, something his father hated.

             And it made me angry.  It made me beyond angry.  We decided that we would meet.  In fact, we had plans to meet up on a weekend.  I’d been saving my paychecks and he’d been saving his.  I was going to rollerblade and he was planning to ride his bike.  We were going to meet in a little town called Grover.  We had plans to hang out at the park and cafés and other places.  And at the end of the day, we were going to get a room at a hotel and sleep.  Yes, just sleep.  We both believe in waiting ‘til marriage.

            I strapped on my rollerblades.  My parents knew what we were doing, and honestly, I’m surprised they were letting us.  I took an insulated lunch bag with fruits, other snacks, three bottles of water; a small bag with two outfits, plus PJ’s in it; and a water bottle to carry in my hand.  Beau texted me and told me that he, apparently has similar stored at a friend’s house.  He told me that he was going to tell his parents he was going on a bike ride, which was technically true, but he wasn’t telling them where his bike ride was going to take him or how long he’d be gone.

            I actually kind of had a bad feeling about it.  In my gut, I got the feeling what we were about to do would get him kicked out of his house.  I told him that and he said he didn’t care.  I did though.  But I knew he’s going to Grover and there’s no way I was going to stand him up.

            I hugged my mom and dad, then was on the road.  I had never rollerbladed so far before in my life and probably never would again.  It took me almost ten hours before I finally saw the “Welcome to Grover,” sign.  I was exhausted.  I crashed at a little mom-and-pop restaurant and texted Beau, telling him I was there.  He was also there in a few moments.

            The moment I saw him, even though I was tired, I ran to him and collapsed in his arms.  I’m hugged him, touched him, felt his warm body against mine.  I smelt the smell that was 100% Beau.

            “I’ve missed you so much!”  I whispered in his ear.

            “I’ve missed you too.”  He whispered back, before gently kissing me.

            His arms were tight around me and I felt safe.

            “I don’t think hanging out at all the places is a good idea for today.”  He told me when we were finally sitting across from each other at a table, hamburgers in one hand, the other person’s hand in the other.

            “Why not?”  I was immediately worried.  Maybe he’d decided his parents were right.  No, he wouldn’t have.  If he had, he wouldn’t have biked all the way here.  I knew he wasn’t too fond of biking.

            “I am exhausted, Ella.  I love you so much, but I am exhausted.”

            I felt myself relax.  “Then we go straight to a hotel and sleep then.”

            He nodded.  “You have bags under your eyes.”

            “So do you.”

            Staying at a hotel with him was different than I thought it would be.  I wasn’t really sure how I thought it would be.  I hadn’t planned that far in advance.  He took his shower and changed to sweats and a t-shirt, I took mine and changed to a nighty and shorts.  Then we sat together on the only bed in the room, too tired to stay up, but too elated to sleep.

            I laid my head on his shoulder and fell asleep before I knew what I was doing and woke up to a pounding at the door.

            “Beau Stephenson, open this door!”  The angry voice of his father came through the door.  I instantly wondered how they found us, but wasn’t really shocked.  After all, they would have hunted him down.  He was their only son and besides, happy endings don’t work for me.

            He gently laid my head down on the pillow and answered the door.

            His father was livid and his mother wasn’t much happier.  “What do you think you’re doing?!”

            “I love Ella, okay?!  Is that a crime?!”

            “So you run away and stay in a hotel with her?  Are you even a virgin anymore?!”

            “Just because two people stay in a hotel together, does not mean they have sex.  You guys did raise me right.  I am going to wait until marriage to have sex and Ella feels the same way.  I just needed to see her, needed to talk to her, touch her.  Please, you have to understand!”

            “No.  You choose now.”

            “What do you mean?”

            My gut had told me this would happen.  With a stony face, his dad looked right him straight in the eye.  “You choose between your mother and me, and that girl.  If you choose her, you are no longer welcome in our house.”

            I saw his heart break.  He loved me.  I knew he loved me.  But he also loved his parents.  There was plenty in them to love.  They didn’t like me, okay?  But his mother was a good cook, his father made funny jokes…they just didn’t seem to think I was good enough for him.  They wanted what was best for him, they just…didn’t think it was me.  And if they were trying to prove it to him, they didn’t seem to be going about it the right way.  They were driving him away.

            He looked at me.  I looked at him.  Tears filled my eyes and I nodded.  Choose them.  I whispered to him in my head.  You need your family.  I don’t want to break your family.  Your family needs you.  He shook his head.  I nodded.  Then I turned away.  I didn’t want him to see me cry.

            “How can you ask me to do something like that?”  He turned back to his dad.  “I can’t choose.”

            “You ran away from home!”  His father’s voice was loud and sharp.  And hurt.  Very hurt.  “Do you know what that did to us?  You are our only son.”  His voice was quieter now, not as harsh.

            “Do you know what you did to me?” Beau asked.  “Do you know what you did to both of us?  All these rules,” he waved his hands widly, ‘and regulations and finally telling me not to even talk to her, they hurt!  And what hurt most was you saying the only reason I feel about her the way I feel because she was the first girl to return my feelings.  I love her because I love her.  Not what she did do for me or what she can or can’t do for me.  I love her because I love her.  Maybe I’m just a teenager, but I’m not stupid!  I’m especially not stupid about my own feelings and emotions.  Maybe we’re both filled with hormones and if that’s the case, it’s going to just play out and we’ll break up!  And you won’t have to worry about me and her ever again.  She was telling me to choose you guys.  She’s over there crying now, because she’s scared.”

            I wondered how he knew I was crying.  He couldn’t see me.  He was looking at his father.

            “I can’t choose.  Please, don’t make me choose.”  His voice broke.

            I looked up and saw the hard expression on his father’s face crumbling.  But I was still scared.  After all, men have this habit of being hardheaded.  I was going to have to make him choose, wasn’t I?  I would have to break up with him.  It would be the only way to keep him with his family.  I’d heard of families that had been broken up by things like this and I didn’t want his family to be one of those.  Not because of me.

            There was a battle going on inside both Beau and his father.  I could see it playing out on their faces.  I wanted to scream, because there was a battle going on inside me.  I was sure that if I just went up to Beau and begged him to choose me, he would.  I didn’t want to lose him.  Not my Beau.  Not my wonderful boyfriend.  Not the only guy I’d dated that my brother had ever liked.

            “Fine.”

            Fine.  One word.  One word from his father, but it meant he had given in.  It meant both his parents and I could have him.

            “But you are grounded.  And we will discuss this.  There will be rules in place.  And you may not like them, but they’re staying.”

            He nodded numbly, barely believing that we had won.

            “And I think you need to tell Ella goodbye and we’ll go home now.  We’ve already called her parents.”

            “How did you find me?”

            “We found someone who saw you riding your bike on the highway and followed all the information we could get until we found out that a teen boy matching your description and a teen girl had checked into this hotel.  You scared us, Beau.”

            I saw him take it in and he nodded.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to scare you.  I just wanted to see Ella so bad.”

            His dad nodded.  “Now tell her goodbye, we need to go home.”

            He came to me and wrapped his arms around me.  “I love you.”  He whispered in my ear.  “I love you so much.”  And he kissed one of the tears that remained on my cheek. 

            I hugged him tightly.  “I love you too.  Text me when you can.”

            He nodded and walked out the door with his parents.  I was glad he hadn’t been forced to choose between us.  It would have ended badly.  But hey, at least now…somehow, I was going to see Beau again.

©2015 Katie Holm