The Diary of a Girl

Prompt: A story set in London

February 4, 2018

January 14
I cannot believe I am in London!  I have never been anywhere outside of America before in my life.  Just look at everything!  It’s so big, so beautiful!  I barely scraped together the money for a plane ticket, but I’m so glad I did...for a lot of reasons.
I wonder what I should do while I’m here?  I don’t have a tour guide or anything.
WHAT IF I CAN’T SPEAK THE LANGUAGE?!  Wait, they still speak English.  BUT WHAT IF I CAN’T UNDERSTAND THE ACCENT?!
-Rani
January 15
London is beautiful.  My hotel room is gorgeous.  Well, actually, it’s kind of subpar, but it’s in London, and that makes it beautiful.
Tomorrow I plan to see Big Ben!  Oh, and there is this fabulous curry restaurant just down the street.  It all tasted so delicious!  They also have some American restaurants here...but if I don’t like them in America, I doubt they’ll taste good in London, even though it is London.
I’ve barely even thought about Daniel.  Lousy, two-timing Daniel.  Maybe I should get a job here and forget all about America and its lousy men.  But I guess I do still have a family in America, and I really do adore my family….
-Rani
January 16
Daniel called me last night.  So much for forgetting about him.  Even an ocean can’t keep him away from me.  I’m so…depressed.  I thought I was over being sad and depressed over him.
According to the internet, he’s a narcissist.
Why do I even try?  I can’t lie to myself, and this journal is essentially myself.  Daniel can just...go away.  Great, now I’m blurring the ink because I’m crying.  I can’t do anything right.  I’d never kill myself, but sometimes I just don’t want to wake up in the morning.
-Rani
January 17
Well, I woke up after all.  I feel a lot better now.  I actually feel optimistic!  Time to go get more curry!  I love that curry!  Before I leave London, I’ll have to try some more restaurants.
-Rani
January 17 (later)
I finally blocked Daniel on Facebook.  There was no point letting him stay in my line of sight.  I wish I could figure out how to block his number on my phone.  Someone was saying that this type of phone doesn’t have the option to block.  I hope they were wrong.
Oh, and someone at the curry restaurant was flirting with me!  They said I was cute, and that my big blue eyes made them want to paint oceans and rivers with the paint in my eyes.  I just giggled like a fool!  But they still asked my number.
Can they still contact me with an American number?  Probably not, that’s probably why they asked about Facebook after I gave them my number.  I bet I looked like a dweeb.
-Rani
January 18 (1 in the morning)
I just woke up.  I had a horrible nightmare.  Daniel was back.  He slapped my face and told me I was a...I don’t want to write the word.  He hit me over and over and when he left I was bleeding and covered in bruises.
I don’t like it.  He never did hit me, just said things to me….  I guess the words still hurt….
I wish people would believe me when I tell them that Daniel isn’t a good guy.  He’s just such a good actor...I thought he was nice.
I’m really tired, but I’m scared to go back to sleep.  What if I have more nightmares?  Maybe if I just rest my head for a moment, I’ll feel less tired, and I can just stay up.

January 18
Well, I guess I fell back asleep.  No more bad dreams.  No Daniel.
I went to the curry restaurant for lunch, hoping to see that cute guy from yesterday, but he wasn’t there.  However, the cashier guy remembers me!  He winked at me and asked if I’d be having the same thing I had the past two days.  I was too shocked to do anything but nod.  Even at my favorite restaurant in America they don’t ever seem to remember me, let alone my order!
Sometimes when I remember that I’m in London that little kid song, “London Bridge is Falling Down,” pops into my head.  I wonder who the fair lady is, and why she’s mine.
-Rani
January 19
I’m probably just paranoid, but I swear I saw Daniel just a few blocks away when I left the curry restaurant.  Maybe I need to find a new hotel and a new restaurant.
I’m probably just being silly.  Daniel isn’t here.  Daniel can’t be here.  Does he even know I’m here?  Oh, I feel so sick to my stomach.  Daniel wouldn’t follow me all the way to London, would he?
He might….  He said that if I left him, he would make sure I regretted it.  Why should I regret leaving his sorry butt?  He was the one in the wrong, not me.
-Rani
January 20
It was Daniel.  It had to be.  The guy walked like him, and looked like him.  What’s that weird saying about ducks and walking?
I only saw him from a distance, but I don’t ever want to see him again.  I’m going to pack my things and go to a different hotel.
-Rani
January 21
I’m at a different hotel now.  It’s actually nicer than the one I stayed at first.  I will miss my curry place though.  Oh well.  There are other restaurants near here.
I have discovered a deep love for fish and chips that I never knew existed.  Who needs men?  I shall marry fish and chips.
Oh, and that guy who was flirting with me at the curry restaurant?  He added me on Facebook!  We’ve been talking a lot.  His name is Alexander and he’s really funny.  We’re planning to meet up tomorrow night for dinner.  What will I wear?!
-Rani
January 22
Our date (is it a date) thing is in three hours!  I’m so excited!  He’s picking me up from my hotel and we’re going to a restaurant of his choice.  He said he’s paying and that he expects me to eat as much as I want!  Oh help I’m dating a rich guy.  Wait, I’m not dating him.  This is one date!
I STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT TO WEAR.
Maybe jeans?  No, it sounds fancy.  HELP!
I guess I’ll just wear clothes.
-Rani
January 22 (later)
The date was wonderful!  I wound up wearing jeans and a cute shirt.  I can’t believe I stressed so much over my outfit.  I never used to stress about clothes.  Well...not until I dated Daniel.  He was always saying that he wanted me to look beautiful.
No, I’m not talking about Daniel!  I’m talking about my awesome date!  Alexander was so much fun.  The restaurant wasn’t super fancy, and I was able to get some great food.  I wound up getting a sampler dish, so I could have a little bit of everything.  I’m not even sure of everything I ate, but it was soooo good!
I also video called my parents today, and my dad got a haircut.  He also shaved his beard.  He looks so much better with a beard.  They even got my cat on the camera and I was reminded why I can’t just stay in London.
I cannot leave my cat behind in America.  I have to make at least one trip back to America to get him.  I’m actually starting to really miss him.  He’s worth risking Daniel.
Well, I’ve been up so late, and I’m exhausted, so I’ll say more about my date tomorrow.
-Rani
January 23
Today is my last day in London.  I told Alexander, and he’s sad, but he hopes to come visit me in the States soon.  I’m so excited!  I can’t wait to take him to my favorite restaurant and make him meet my cat.
I had so much fun on our date last night.  I hope he can come to the states soon so that we can go on another date.
The only bad part about our date was that as I was getting out of the taxi and going up to the hotel, I thought I saw Daniel again.
Just thinking about him leaves a sick, cold pit in my stomach.  I can’t believe he...did everything he did.   I don’t have to write the words, I know what it was.  I don’t think I’ll ever forget.
Maybe I shouldn’t even go on dates.  Maybe he was right with what he said.  My phone is buzzing again.  It’s Daniel.  I feel sick.

I answered.  That was a mistake.
He told me that...that I was...no, I don’t want those words recorded in my precious pages.  He said that I’m cheating on him...that I hurt him deeply.
Let me write a rough transcript of our conversation...what I remember anyway.
Me: Hello?
Him: Hey there, you bleep.
Me: I’m not!
Him: Then why are you cheating on me, you bleep?
Me: I’m not!  We aren’t together anymore, I ended it, remember?
Him: No, I don’t.  I decide when we break up.  You don’t.
Me: You were cheating on me, Daniel.  What did you want me to do?
Him: I was NOT cheating on you!  Why the bleep would you say that?!
Me: Yes you were!
Him: I’m polygamous, so maybe you think I was cheating on you, but I wasn’t.
Me: I’ve read about polygamy and polyamory.  That's not how that works.
Him: Who the bleep do you think you’re talking to?  If I’m bleeping polygamous, shouldn’t I know how it bleeping works?
Me: L-look, Daniel, I need to go.  Bye.
And then I hung up.  I still feel sick.  I’m scared of him.  Why am I scared of him?  He’s never hit me or anything.  So why should I be scared?
-Rani
January 24
Everything is packed, and I’m on my way to the airport now.  I had a nightmare about Daniel.  No more.  I can’t handle Daniel anything.
Alexander came to tell me goodbye before I left.  He wanted to give me a hug goodbye, but when he got close, I started to freak out.  I felt so bad, but he said it was okay.  I think I hurt his feelings though.
-Rani
January 24 (later)
I’m on the plane.  So is Daniel.  I saw him.  I don’t know if he saw me.  I feel like I’m going to vomit.  I asked a stewardess to bring me a bag, just in case.  She looked sorry for me.  I think she thought it was just airsickness though.
Why is he here?  How did he get here?

He just saw me.  He walked past me on the way to the bathroom.  He touched my shoulder and squeezed it.  If I didn’t know him better, I would think his smile was genuine.  But it didn’t reach his eyes.
I’m scared.  I’m so scared.  I can’t even text someone to calm me down.
Why am I scared?  What can he do to me on the plane?
But I’ll have to get off.
-Rani.
January 24 (much later)
He sat next to me.  No one was sitting in the seat next to me.  He put his hand on my leg while he talked to me.  It made me feel so sick and dirty.
The stewardess just smiled at us.  She probably thought we were a couple.  I felt like vomiting the entire time.  I should have.  I should have thrown up everything I’ve ever eaten, right on him.
I want to stay on this plane forever, because I know if I get off, I’m free game.  He said he’d...no, I can’t write it, because if I write it, I know it will come true.
-Rani
January 25
We touch down in Kansas City today.  Just a few minutes.  I am terrified.  I can barely write.  My handwriting is so shaky.  How will I ever read this in the future?  That is assuming he doesn’t--no, he won’t!  He can’t!
I’d better put my things away and get ready for landing.
-Rani
January 31
I wish the beeping would stop.  He...tried to kill me.  I’m in the hospital.  Mom is sleeping.  Dad is at work.  Daniel is gone.  I’m sure Alexander thinks I’m ignoring him.  I didn’t have the energy to write anything until today.
I hurt all over.  I can’t really talk.  I tried and I sound...awful.  I look worse.  Maybe I deserved this.  Maybe I didn’t know the full story.
Daniel didn’t have an easy life.  This is all he knows of how to show love.  Maybe I just needed to love him more.  I just couldn’t hold us both together.  I’m too worn out to write more.
-Rani
February 3
I’m finally out of the hospital.  I’m still on bedrest though.  Daniel hasn’t been found yet.  I’m afraid he’ll come to my house and get me.  I’ve spent most of my time watching movies and drinking tea.  Maybe London made me like tea more.
I messaged Alexander and told him sort of what happened.  He isn’t angry with me.  He actually seems to be worried about me.
-Rani
February 5
It’s my friend Xaveira’s birthday today.  She had a big birthday party, but I couldn’t go.  Mom isn’t about to let me go anywhere.  I try to tell her that I’m twenty-one years old, I need to get out.  It’d be good for me, I think.
My parents went out on their date night...it’s not even night yet.  They’ve had date night for forever.  I’m all alone.  It scares me.  Daniel knows where I live.  It wouldn’t have killed my parents just to stay home from one date night with me, since I couldn’t go to the party.
I don’t actually know how to shoot a gun, but I have my dad’s rifle sitting next to me.  If Daniel shows up, I could maybe fend him off.  I could at least hit him with the gun.  I hope I have enough strength to knock him out if it comes to that.
Maybe I should have grabbed an axe too.
-Rani
February 5 (later)
Oh my goodness!  Crazy stuff happened!  I’ll explain more later.
-Rani
February 7
Okay, here’s the crazy stuff that happened.
While my parents were on their date night, Daniel showed up.  He was calling me names and telling me that I was a cheater, and at first I was really scared.  Then it was like something just snapped and I started beating him with my dad’s gun.
It’s kind of funny when I think about it, because I’m really little and he’s like a giant compared to me.  Also, my dad has to get repairs on his gun now, because hitting someone with the barrel of a gun has the tendency to throw off the accuracy….
When I realized he was unconscious, I stopped hitting him.  Part of me wanted to keep beating him though.  Then, I called the police and they came and hauled his sorry butt off to jail.
When I told Alexander, he said, “lol, crazy American girl!”  He’s planning to come to America to visit me, and meet my family.  That’s exciting.  Maybe I should go to London more often!
-Rani

©2018 Katie Holm